Review: Bret Michaels – Rock My World


Label: VH1 Classics

Released: June 3, 2008

Bret Michaels’ stupid reality show (I guess it’s redundant to call reality tv stupid) takes its name from the shallow lyrics of Rock My World‘s opening track, “Go That Far.” Frankly, bad as it is, it’s still the best this album has to offer. From there, it’s all downhill into a series of rock clichés (did he really sing, “Gave her a diamond ring, now I want it back / Besides she sucked in the sack?”), ballads duller than the ones he did in Poison and failed attempts at expanding into other styles (I didn’t need Bret’s take on power-pop or country rock). Even the song he named after his daughter is about as emotionally honest as a lap dance.

Poison was simple and shallow. But in a simple, shallow genre, they stood out. Why? Perhaps they were more fun. Maybe their hooks were better. I don’t know, but after listening to Rock My World, I’m pretty sure Mr Michaels didn’t have much to do with it. This is supposedly the best tracks from his last two releases with three new songs thrown in. That means that his very best efforts from the last five years still add up to crap. It looks like romance isn’t the only train wreck in his life.

Ratings
Satriani: 5/10
Zappa: 5/10
Dylan: 1/10
Aretha: 1/10
Overall: 1/10

If you’re curious about my rating categories, read the description.

About bobvinyl

bobvinyl, writer and co-editor of No Song is an Island, founded its predecessor, Rock and Roll and Meandering Nonsense (whose archives are found here), in 2005 and served as editor and principal contributor until it went on hiatus in 2010. He has also been published in AMP and Loud Fast Rules! (in print) as well as Glide and FensePost on the web. He has been an avid record collector since he was seven years old and enjoys sharing his love of music from the common to the esoteric.

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